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The Birth of My Sun



I never could understand,

how could you shut me down with such ease?


My sincere and open attempts to connect,

met with your dismissive comments.

With stealth gaslighting,

you would assert what I wanted and what I needed.


The countless number of times

I have shied away,

interpreting your desire for me to do so.


How easily I still get webbed

in self-doubt, confusion and anxiety

while you would focus and tend to the world

as you need it to be.


Without me in it?


I can shrink no more.


As atoms of light elements squeeze together,

so tight

from the compressed nuclei comes great powerful light!


FUCK YOU.

From within my intuitive empathic sweet soul,

I expand my solar plexus powerhouse:

FUCK YOU!

The gravity of my self declaration stabilizes the fusion of my expanding power,

And MY SUN is formed.


“Fuck you”

I say this for me now,

for even if I said it to you

it would not hold the medicine that it holds for me.


I will no longer be restrained

in my own self doubt.

I will no longer go quietly

behind another closed door

and try to take up less space

for anyone to take up more.


My “fuck you” explodes before me

like an energetic bomb,

shattering the illusion

of the prison in my retreat.

Barriers collapse,

the walls of entrapment disintegrate,

I AM free.


From my embodied power, I expand!

In my freedom, I know who I AM.

When I know who I AM,

your behavior no longer harms me.


Indeed,

I love you.

And I see that you are asleep.

I see that you are wounded

and in pain

and while I may still hurt

from your disconnect,


I will no longer disconnect from myself.


I love myself!

I hug myself,

I soothe myself,

I embolden myself to be the star that I AM.


I walk out into the world and


I

TAKE

UP

SPACE.


And,

I remember my super-STAR power:

When I begin to shrink,

I explode into my fusion

of self-determination and love.

I transmute my fuck you

into

a colossal

I LOVE ME!


I LOVE ME,

so I can be true

to the sweet gentle powerful

intuitive empath

I AM.


ASHE!




 

You can find this prayer in this book, available for purchase:



Comments


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Blessings, Lisa

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