While staying with feelings of discomfort,
I begin to see my part in patterns of sustaining experiences
of struggle, doubt, anxiety, pain in my codependent relationships.
Now, with increasing clarity, I see the dramas in my life and the codependent roles I play within them: Caregiving to my troubled friend with a constant stream of harrowing crises; coddling my chronically wounded friend who can never receive enough love to believe in my safety and love offered. Too often I have stayed engaged, thinking how horrible it is to leave them alone in their endless suffering. In my attempts to detach, I confront my fear-based belief that if I establish clear boundaries or leave the relationship that I have failed and abandoned an already wounded soul.
Now, daily I commit to detaching from these roles
where I am completing the other half of suffering,
I know now that torment is not truth,
but instead a co-created illusion,
keeping us stuck in the energy of fear and woe.
I will deliver myself to freedom beyond my relationships marked by ongoing strife.
As I leave these relationships I feel my own sense of loss.
I grieve my loss of friendship
as I move away from the role of comforter, rescuer, healer.
Part of me will miss being in that dance of opposites that complete each other’s wounds.
But I can no longer stay in the pain of these stories of brokenness.
I pray that those that I leave will grow from the challenge.
I pray that they will absorb my timeless gift of love,
and that they will find the soul-inspiration
to take on and complete their own journey of transcendence.
In my volitional act of separation, death and re-creation,
I hold my transformational pains in my silent contractions of loneliness and doubt.
While simultaneously, I expand
with bliss, joy, confidence and abundant love
as I birth my new self!
Emerging through my Sacred Phoenix,
I Am in my own metamorphosis
materializing a new version of me,
defined boldly by love,
confidence and conviction.
Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha.
May all beings be happy and free.
Starting with me.
You can find this prayer in this book, available for purchase: